The World Within.

#watch-it.

I have a love-dislike relationship with my mind.

Would have used the hate word, but that's too strong a description to be used on a part of my being.

Now, for majority of the hours in a day, I spend ample time in my mind.

It's either I'm cooking up scenarios, replaying past experiences or just getting lost in my sea of thoughts.

I do enjoy being lost in there.

It could be that I’m in the midst of a conversation with a group of people and I did just subtly tune out.

Or during the days when my feet would be hurting from prolong standing during work hours, my staying grace would be my escape into my mind.

Even during the long drives in between home and school, I would hardly watch the movie or novel waiting to be devoured, but rather lean on the window and watch sceneries pass whilst letting my thoughts flow.

These are the days when inside feels safe, a good escape.

Then there are the times when I just want to shut down the thoughts.

Thoughts that draw up baseless conclusions faster than anything, and would incessantly stick to that narrative no matter how fiercely I desire to believe otherwise.

Thoughts that may make me belittle the amazing Woman that I am.

Thoughts that care more of what people think of me and less of what I think.

Thoughts that downplays my feelings of hurt and points accusing fingers at me when at I'm at the receiving end of an unfair treatment.

Thoughts that presents God as a non-caring Father who's mishandling my life.

Thoughts that replays past failures, creates worst case scenarios and anticipates bad happenings to come.

Thoughts that magnifies issues even more than they actualy are.

Thoughts that amplifies my failures, slip ups, mistakes and inadequacies.

Thoughts that makes me see my present season as unbearable and less of a process to learn from and to find peace with.

I could go on and on cause it's can be a lot and it can get really tiring in there.

At every point in time, there are thoughts traversing the mind space of each and everyone of us humans.

Right here in this moment, there’s a thought that has just crossed your mind, be it good or bad and I don’t know about you, but some times, I just want to shut down the voices within.

I just want to live in the moment and not have to overthink my next season, next move, next words, laughter or any action that would make me happy.

For the past few days, I’ve tried to be more intentional about the practice of meditation; the conscious effort to still the noise within and to be in harmony with the peace hidden below the weight of those thoughts.

It’s been amazing for real.

For those few moments of “stillness’’, I get to be in one accord with my whole being and not just the perceived bad facets.

I get to feel my feelings and then see/accept things as they are and not just draw up conclusions from misconceived perceptions.

I am able to look past the previous failures and be reminded of the privilege to even get to experience this kind of life in this beautiful vessel that's me.

In this state of stillness, I am brought to a deeper consciousness of the hand of God at play in me life. The reminder that seasons are unfolding at His pace and that with each turn of my book, I am going to unravel beautifully.

I’m learning to cherish those few minutes of shutting down and although post-mediation still brings me back to the noisy world I had left off, I’m still grateful for those grounding moments.

The plan now is to carry that stillness throughout my day and not just for 15mins.

To catch myself when I start drifting to those failed conversations, cringe actions, uncertainties and what if’s.

This will most definitely take a while as I am a self proclaimed overthinker, but as God will help me, I believe this decision will greatly impart on my journey towards presence, peace and tranquility.

Life is good over here, I just have to come out of my head space a bit more and appreciate the gift of life.

So here's an assignment for you and I in this new week;

“Think of what your’re thinking of and then ask yourself, this thought that’s on my mind;

Is it true?

Is it real?

Is it bringing me peace?

Is it honorable?

Is it in tandem with God’s word?’’.

If yes, continue, if no, then replace that thought with one that's edifying.

There’s power in believeing for the best.

I know that could make you seem delusional and sort of avoidant of your present circumstances, but the more you are conscious of what you think on and then saturate that space with liberating thoughts, then I truly believe your days, no matter what form they come, will be spent thriving and not merely surviving.

As a man thinks in his heart, so is he. This in literal terms means you are what your’re thinking of.

Watch your thoughts and guard your mind, every issue in life begins from in there.

#Shalom🤍.

Have a blessed week ahead.

Signed: Abba's Handpiece.